Dear Jesus
Funny how my brother looks just like me.
At night we pray together, so don't think it is me praying twice.
Teacher: Where is Thailand ?
Jabez: I don’t know.
Teacher: Where is India ?
Jabez: I don’t know.
Teacher: Where is China ?
Jabez: I don’t know.
Teacher: Look them up in your geography book. Where is your geography book?
Jabez: I don’t know.
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Jabez: H- I- J- K- L- M-N- O
Teacher: What makes you give such a silly answer like that?
Jabez: You say it was H to O
Mother: What do music teachers give you?
Jabez : Sound advice.
Teacher: Jabez , you’ll have to improve your handwriting. I can hardly read it.
Jabez: But, mdm, if I do, you’ll know that I can’t spell
Teacher: Jabez, name 5 animals that live in the jungle.
Jabez: An elephant… and four tigers.
Jabez: Mum, today I was punished by the teacher for something I didnt do
Mother: How could you be punished for something you didn't do? Tomorrow I am going to have a talk with your teacher. By the way what was it that you didn't do?
Jabez: My Homework!
Let us tell you of some peoples Favorite Hymns:
The Dentist's Hymn:..........Crown Him With Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn...........There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
The Contractor's Hymn..........The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn...............Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn...........There is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn.........Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn..........Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn............I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn...............Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn..........Send the Light
The Shopper's Hymn.............Sweet By and By
ABRAHAM'S RAM
Abraham wanted to upgrade his old 386 PC to Windows XP.
His son Isaac, was horrified, and exclaimed: "Pop, you can't run Windows XP on your ancient 386. Everyone knows you need a Pentium III processor and 128 megabytes (MB) of RAM for that! What are you thinking???
But Abraham, a man of faith, gazed calmly at Isaac and said, "Do not worry, my son, God will provide the RAM."
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their eight-year-old son and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' Jabez replied..
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered
Jabez bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
REPORT BOOK
Mother: Jabez, come here.
Jabez: Yes, mum.Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
Jabez: But but but... .I will only get my report card tomorrow
Mother: I know that, but I'm going Jakarta tomorrow so I'm scolding you now
WHERE ARE YOU BORN ?
Teacher: Where were you born?
Jabez : Singapore , Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Jabez : All of me.
FIREFLIES
When Papa and Jabez entered their vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before Papa did, Jabez whispered, "It’s no use, Papa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
Pen
A parent: Doctor my son swallowed my pen, what do I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil until I get there.
HOW OLD IS YOUR FATHER
Man: How old is your father?
Jabez: Same as me lah.
Man: How can that be?
Jabez: He only became a father when I was born mah !!!
PLAGIARISM IN COMPOSITION
Teacher: Jabez, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Jabez: No lah, teacher. It's the same dog!
When does a mouse have to carry an umbrella?
When it is raining cats and dogs!
