We
all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realise that
the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
Having
a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a
cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
Breaking
news: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore! A friend of mine was wearing
one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband....!!
Arguing
over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters,
Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab
whatever is available....!!
Why
Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because
He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant,
Against His Own Laws Of Gravity....!!
Why
Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They
Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure.....!!
Why
are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A:
Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
*DEFINITION
OF BLOWJOB* A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in
your resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
*BALLS
THEORY*
If
you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If
you have four, it does not mean that u r superman.
U
must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
*EXPLANATION*
Bio
teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful
penetration.
Girl:
Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher:
I was talking of necessity not luxury.
*VIAGRA*
All
medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
*BURNING
LOVE*
Q:
What is the definition of "burning love"?
A:
It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks by
mistake
*When
a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.*~By
Lee Majors_
*After
marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face
each other, but still they stay together.*~By Al Gore
*By
all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one,
you'll become a philosopher~By Socrates_
*Woman
inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them~By Mike Tyson_
*The
great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a
woman want~By George Clooney_
*I
had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.* ~By Bill
Clinton_
*"Some
people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant
two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She
goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays
~By
George W. Bush_
*"I
don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."*
~By
Rudy Giuliani_
*"I've
had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one
didn’t.” The third gave me more children!*
~By
Donald Trump_
*Two
secrets to keep your marriage brimming*🤔😤
*1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,*
*2. Whenever you're right, shut up.*
_~By Shaquille O’Neal_
*The
most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.*~By
Kobe Bryant_
*You
know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.*😉😤😂
_~By David Hasselhoff_
*My
wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.*😜🤣
_~By Alec Baldwin_
*A
good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.*😂
_~By Barack Obama_
*Marriage
is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.*
~By
Tommy Lee_
*A
man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all
said the same thing: "You can have mine."*~By Brad Pitt_
*First
Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"* *Second Guy : "You're
lucky, mine's still alive."* ~ By Jimmy Kimmel_
*“First
there is the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding
ring...soon after....comes SuffeRing!*~By Jay Leno_
*"The
reason why wives live longer is because they don't have a Wife"*~By
Brandon Breezy_
*Forward
this to all the guys to give them a good laugh .......and to the ladies with
good sense of humour who can handle it!!!!!!!😀😀😀*
