This post from Richard Branson.
Take a moment to read this before you start the week .
You'll be happy you did 👍 👇👇
"Dear Stranger,
You don’t know me but I hear you are going through a tough time, and I would like to help you. I want to be open and honest with you, and let you know that happiness isn’t something just afforded to a special few. It can be yours, if you take the time to let it grow.
It’s OK to be stressed, scared and sad, I certainly have been throughout my 66 years. I’ve confronted my biggest fears time and time again. I’ve cheated death on many adventures, seen loved ones pass away, failed in business, minced my words in front of tough audiences, and had my heart broken.
I know I’m fortunate to live an extraordinary life, and that most people would assume my business success, and the wealth that comes with it, have brought me happiness. But they haven’t; in fact it’s the reverse. I am successful, wealthy and connected because I am happy.
So many people get caught up in doing what they think will make them happy but, in my opinion, this is where they fail. Happiness is not about doing, it’s about being. In order to be happy, you need to think consciously about it. Don’t forget the to-do list, but remember to write a to-be list too.
Kids are often asked: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ The world expects grandiose aspirations: ‘I want to be a writer, a doctor, the prime minister.’ They’re told: go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, and then you’ll be happy. But that’s all about doing, not being – and while doing will bring you moments of joy, it won’t necessarily reward you with lasting happiness.
Stop and breathe. Be healthy. Be around your friends and family. Be there for someone, and let someone be there for you. Be bold. Just be for a minute.
If you allow yourself to be in the moment, and appreciate the moment, happiness will follow. I speak from experience. We’ve built a business empire, joined conversations about the future of our planet, attended many memorable parties and met many unforgettable people. And while these things have brought me great joy, it’s the moments that I stopped just to be, rather than do, that have given me true happiness. Why? Because allowing yourself just to be, puts things into perspective. Try it. Be still. Be present.
For me, it’s watching the flamingos fly across Necker Island at dusk. It’s holding my new grandchild's tiny hands. It’s looking up at the stars and dreaming of seeing them up close one day. It’s listening to my family’s dinner-time debates. It’s the smile on a stranger’s face, the smell of rain, the ripple of a wave, the wind across the sand. It’s the first snow fall of winter, and the last storm of summer. It’s sunrise and sunset.
There’s a reason we’re called human beings and not human doings. As human beings we have the ability to think, move and communicate in a heightened way. We can cooperate, understand, reconcile and love, that’s what sets us apart from most other species.
Don’t waste your human talents by stressing about nominal things, or that which you cannot change. If you take the time simply to be and appreciate the fruits of life, your stresses will begin to dissolve, and you will be happier.
But don’t just seek happiness when you’re down. Happiness shouldn’t be a goal, it should be a habit. Take the focus off doing, and start being every day. Be loving, be grateful, be helpful, and be a spectator to your own thoughts.
Allow yourself to be in the moment, and appreciate the moment. Take the focus off everything you think you need to do, and start being – I promise you, happiness will follow.
Happy regards,
Richard Branson"
This piece was contributed by Richard to help raise money for MIND, a Mental Health Organisation.
https://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/how-be-happy
Thursday, August 30, 2018
Bedok
Last week, an NTUC taxi driver picked up a Japanese lady at Changi airport. To his surprise, the lady requested, "We go to bed ok!"
Thinking that she may want to rest at a hotel, the cab driver suggested a few nearby hotels.
"No. No hotel. We go to bed ok!"
The taxi driver was horrified at the suggestive request but being a professional, tried to decline in the most indirect way. But the passenger refused to take "No" for an answer.
Finally the taxi driver couldn't take it anymore and warned her either to furnish a proper address or take another cab.
Exasperated, the passenger reached into her pocket and whipped out a map of Singapore.
"Bed ok! Bed ok!" she shouted, pointing to the spot on the map labelled Bedok"
😝
Just for laugh ! Have a great week end & good luck guys ! Be happy ! Closed more deals !
Thinking that she may want to rest at a hotel, the cab driver suggested a few nearby hotels.
"No. No hotel. We go to bed ok!"
The taxi driver was horrified at the suggestive request but being a professional, tried to decline in the most indirect way. But the passenger refused to take "No" for an answer.
Finally the taxi driver couldn't take it anymore and warned her either to furnish a proper address or take another cab.
Exasperated, the passenger reached into her pocket and whipped out a map of Singapore.
"Bed ok! Bed ok!" she shouted, pointing to the spot on the map labelled Bedok"
😝
Just for laugh ! Have a great week end & good luck guys ! Be happy ! Closed more deals !
you are monsters
ORD letter: “You are not leaders. You are monsters”
Below is the letter by a National Serviceman who recently ORDed* after serving two years of national service. According to him, he wrote an email which was sent out via intranet but MINDEF made a call to his office within minutes to have the email recalled.
He wrote, "Personally, I just want to get the words of my letter out to as many people as possible so that they may read it and form their own ideas of the military after seeing a different side to its organisation. The speed with which MINDEF has attempted to clamp down to me, I think, is testament to the kind of unbridled power that they have access to, which should not be left unchecked and unknown to the public. I hope you can publish this email on your website as I do not know when I will next have access to the internet."
The NSF was also told by his friends to expect to be charged.
The Online Citizen wrote to MINDEF on 11 July, asking if they could confirm whether or not such a letter was retracted, but no response has been issued so far.
*Operationally Ready Date, refers to the date on which a National Serviceman completes his 2-year term of service.
Below is the letter in full
Dear Sirs, Mdms and all,
Today, I will leave the SAF after two years of service. My NS journey, though unexpected, has been full of pleasant surprises. I have made many good friends whom I will continue to treasure outside of the army. I have grown so much as a person, and acquired new skills in working with others and in organisations. I started in Pes C BMT in Tekong, and later vocationalised in Sembawang camp. Finally, I was posted to 2 PDF Command, G1 Branch as a clerk. The insights I have gained through my experiences have been pivotal in helping me decide what I want to do with my life after secondary school and JC. The journey has not been easy at times, but I grew stronger with the difficulties and struggles. The people who understood me and empathised with me were so important in helping me get through the difficult days. I must give special thanks to the people at SAF Counselling Centre for their support and guidance throughout this turbulent time.
With that said, I have now reached the end of my journey. I found myself looking back at the beginning, when I was a pre-enlistee - uncertain, fearful, anxious, dreading enlistment. In my mind what I was about to experience was a blank. I had no idea how it would affect me. One question did nag at me, as I’m sure it nagged at others - why serve NS?
Countless times, many superiors and comrades have told me, “you have to serve NS. Nobody can change that. What we can do is to make the best of your two years here.” So I did, I took my time here on day at a time and looked at the bright side. That does not, however, excuse the sin of a massive institution that systematically degrades hundreds of thousands of men by depriving them of their basic human rights. “You have to serve NS. Nobody can change that.”
With that one statement, every person in the SAF, no matter how big or small, somehow managed to absolve themselves of the responsibility of the suffering that they have caused. This military, the epicentre of the government, and a microcosm of everything wrong with Singapore. In the past fifty years the military has churned ceaselessly to provide every cause for its continued relevance. It has worked desperately to cover up the fallacious logic woven into its rotten core, that compulsory conscription is institutionalised slavery.
I was charged last year, during a routine security check. A pornographic video was found on my phone, which I did not take, and which was accidentally downloaded onto my phone. All my life I had been terrified of having to serve in the army. As a child in primary school, my imagination conjured up nightmares of being barked at, punished and regimented because of small, inconsequential mistakes that were largely outside of my control. I dreaded the day. I was terrified of being publicly shamed, to have the world laughing at me like I was a freak or a loser.
Marched into an office. Having my name printed and published for everybody to gawk at. I did everything within my power to play by the rules, to not get into trouble. And still, I stumbled and was caught. I wanted to kill myself. The night after I knew that I would be summary trialed, I googled how many anarex does it take to put you to sleep forever. I imagined what my cracked skull and smashed brains would look like on the carpark ground, twenty-five storeys down from my HDB unit. I made it through, but just barely. I was shaken to my core, but I recovered.
And then came the question. Who in this world wields the authority and power to put a human being through this suffering?
Is this war, or anarchy, where there are no laws and people hurt each other to survive? No. This is institutionalised suffering and violence. And I was far from the first victim. There are thousands of people in this organisation, adorned in glittering ranks and titles, formulating and executing policies. Your reports and statistics, your conferences and closed-door meetings. If this were a well-oiled, smooth-running organisation, such a philosophy would still be excusable. It’s not. Thousands of servicemen are systematically put through the paces of this system and made to suffer unnecessarily. Your byzantine, hierarchical bureaucracy is not designed to solve problems anymore. It’s designed to entrench them. More and more, inexcusable failures stemming from processes gone awry are being covered up with showy gestures and speeches. The reputation of the military is what is being protected, not my brothers, not our men. Military classification and security is just a blank cheque that gives your people blanket freedoms to sink to levels of mediocrity without being scrutinised.
Many of these inconvenient facts are deflected and concealed by a bloated middle management. The people you employ to do your grunt work are invested in career advancement, not organisational advancement. They choose money, stability and stagnation over natural evolution and change. Keeping your head down and burying problems where convenient is woven into this system’s DNA, and nobody is spared. Not the bottom-feeders, who are not powerful enough to have their voices heard, not the middle-ranks, who are too concerned with infighting and promotional criteria. And certainly not your exalted, overprotected elites. The scholars.
When I enlisted in 2016, I was a promising government scholar myself. I was supposed to be fully-funded in my studies in a top-ranking university in the United States, and come back to enjoy a fast-tracked career in a government statutory board. I bought into this dream of power and change. I believed in talented, passionate individuals working together for the betterment of society. I was so eager to believe that I was willing to turn a blind eye to the natural flaws in an imperfect system. So already, the seeds were there, of elitism, entitlement, apathy. Your elites, your revolutionary change-makers, are incentivised to look for problems which can be solved, within their purview, while still hauling in their five, six-figure salaries. But to overhaul the systemic, cultural flaws of an entire organisation? An individual in a system like this is a pebble in a churning river. There is a splash, but still the water flows the same way. Who dares put their livelihoods at stake for an intangible dream?
I got so disgusted with the hypocrisy and mediocrity of the civil service that I withdrew from the scholarship. I paid every cent of the $1000 liquidation fee with my own hard-earned “allowance”, by the way. I learn this – when you have money, career, prestige, you have something to lose. Something that can be taken away. That makes you valuable, tangles you in strings. This is the twisted symbiotic relationship that maintains the balance of this system: bottom-feeders are suppressed and silenced by the middle-ranks, who are eager to please their elites. Elites who become convinced, incredibly, that they are amazing leaders, miracle workers. So they leave the military, go and become CEO of SMRT and earn even more money for letting trains break down. Trains that they don’t have to ride because they ride cars. Trains that we have to ride, every day. Soak it in, this is your glorified chain of command.
This system is designed to actively resist change and fear risk. And why, you ask, should I care? You want to run your organisation like shit, fine, that’s your business. But there is a cost to running your system this way, and that is us, the people who have to ride the trains every day. The bottom of the food chain. Treated with favouritism, institutional racism, deliberate or accidental oversight, red tape. Systemic racism against Malays in the special forces, in the airforce and navy. Suicides and death details that are covered up and hush-hushed. Preferential treatment among your white horses. Every act that you practice is hypocrisy. Every apologist explanation offered is threaded with a contradictory logic that shouldn’t work. Yet here we are, intimidated with punishment, fed false promises, misled by propaganda and wayang, arbitrarily carved up into the leaders and the followers. All your organisational mediocrity becomes offloaded on us, like rivers polluted by industrial chemical runoff. Your men, purged and expended for your visions of greatness.
Is this your leadership? It reads like cowardice. All this arrogance, paranoia, manipulation and deception. This is the real reason why the military is Singapore’s little factory of elites. You take us for puppets to play with, make jokes out of our lives, strip us of our identities. You forget that NSFs have minds. That every moment of every day we are here, watching your dysfunctions and failures. You say, NS is about defending your nation, defending your family and friends. Yet history tells us that the concept of a nation is artificially construed.
Some European colonisers came ashore centuries ago and started labelling our forefathers yellow skin, brown skin. Started carving up our land into rigid, territorial borders, as if they had a right. So now we defend a concept created by dead white tyrants? This is just another excuse for neo-colonialism. This is why Stamford Raffles stands whitewashed by the Singapore river still. Different skin colour, same problems. You want me to defend a country that abuses its institutional machinery to utterly destroy its dissidents and critics? I would rather grovel at the feet of a foreign power.
Here is what I feel. I will defend what I love. I will defend my principles and ideals. I will fight for truth, for equality, for humility and empathy. I see these same ideals being trampled by your great machines. Your national service teaches men how to hold rifles before they can hold pens in voting booths. It indulges men’s toxic ideas of masculinity, equipping them with guns and bombs, teaching them to unite against some vague external threat. This steady crawl towards paranoia is corrosive and divisive. This bleaching of minds, this mass manufactured groupthink among your soldiers, your countrymen, is a prelude to disaster. If you really succeed in what you do, you will have a horde of fascist, Nazi-esque patriots who will run this country into the dirt. I have no love for this country. Everything I believed in wholeheartedly, it destroyed. I was helpless to do anything. The second I get my chance I’m rescinding my Singapore citizenship.
Maybe my opinion is too extreme, maybe it can be compromised. But it’s not as if you let us speak our minds like that. There is no opportunity for us to have the freedom of voice, the basic dignity of being heard. NS is supposed to be about fighting for our freedom, but instead we are building the bars of our cells. My friends fear for me. They say if I send this email, I will be intimidated, reprimanded, charged and imprisoned. Just for wanting to be listened to. You did this to them. You. You think freedom is something you can just give and take on a whim, without any respect for human beings. Do you think you are gods? You are not gods. You are not leaders. You are monsters.
eat grass
A highly successful MD of a big organisation was going home in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man-
"Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the MD said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the MD replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated,
"You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said,
"But sir, I also have a wife and three children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the MD answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
One of the poor fellows turned to the MD and said,
"Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The MD replied,
"Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high...!"
Lesson :
Never trust Higher Management.
They will go to any extreme to finish their job.
And there is none like a KIND Management. 😜
Dedicated to all working friends and business associates ...!! 😀😀
Scott Morrison - new PM Australia - prayers
Australia New PM
Here’s an excerpt from the maiden speech of Scott Morrison, the new PM of Australia:*
Growing up in a Christian home, I made a commitment to my faith at an early age and have been greatly assisted by the pastoral work of many dedicated church leaders, in particular the Reverend Ray Green and pastors Brian Houston and Leigh Coleman. My personal faith in Jesus Christ is not a political agenda. As Lincoln said, our task is not to claim whether God is on our side but to pray earnestly that we are on His.
For me, faith is personal, but the implications are social—as personal and social responsibility are at the heart of the Christian message. In recent times it has become fashionable to negatively stereotype those who profess their Christian faith in public life as ‘extreme’ and to suggest that such faith has no place in the political debate of this country. This presents a significant challenge for those of us, like my colleague, who seek to follow the example of William Wilberforce or Desmond Tutu, to name just two. These leaders stood for the immutable truths and principles of the Christian faith. They transformed their nations and, indeed, the world in the process. More importantly, by following the convictions of their faith, they established and reinforced the principles of our liberal democracy upon which our own nation is built.
Australia is not a secular country—it is a free country. This is a nation where you have the freedom to follow any belief system you choose. Secularism is just one. It has no greater claim than any other on our society. As US Senator Joe Lieberman said, the Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, not from religion. I believe the same is true in this country.
So what values do I derive from my faith? My answer comes from Jeremiah, chapter 9:24:
... I am the Lord who exercises loving-kindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things, declares the Lord.
From my faith I derive the values of loving-kindness, justice and righteousness, to act with compassion and kindness, acknowledging our common humanity and to consider the welfare of others; to fight for a fair go for everyone to fulfil their human potential and to remove whatever unjust obstacles stand in their way, including diminishing their personal responsibility for their own wellbeing; and to do what is right, to respect the rule of law, the sanctity of human life and the moral integrity of marriage and the family. We must recognise an unchanging and absolute standard of what is good and what is evil. Desmond Tutu put it this way:
... we expect Christians ... to be those who stand up for the truth, to stand up for justice, to stand on the side of the poor and the hungry, the homeless and the naked, and when that happens, then Christians will be trustworthy believable witnesses.
These are my principles. My vision for Australia is for a nation that is strong, prosperous and generous: strong in our values and our freedoms, strong in our family and community life, strong in our sense of nationhood and in the institutions that protect and preserve our democracy; prosperous in our enterprise and the careful stewardship of our opportunities, our natural environment and our resources; and, above all, generous in spirit, to share our good fortune with others, both at home and overseas, out of compassion and a desire for justice.
Scott is officially Australia’s 30th PM. 30 is a significant number in the Bible.
Australia now has a first (I think) Pentecostal PM and a Jew as the Deputy Leader and Treasurer.
Both Scott and Josh are the next generation of leaders... praying God will use them and give them wisdom to bring reconciliation and unity back to the government, and steer the country with a fresh vision and bring righteousness and the kingdom of God back to the Government Gate...
Here’s an excerpt from the maiden speech of Scott Morrison, the new PM of Australia:*
Growing up in a Christian home, I made a commitment to my faith at an early age and have been greatly assisted by the pastoral work of many dedicated church leaders, in particular the Reverend Ray Green and pastors Brian Houston and Leigh Coleman. My personal faith in Jesus Christ is not a political agenda. As Lincoln said, our task is not to claim whether God is on our side but to pray earnestly that we are on His.
For me, faith is personal, but the implications are social—as personal and social responsibility are at the heart of the Christian message. In recent times it has become fashionable to negatively stereotype those who profess their Christian faith in public life as ‘extreme’ and to suggest that such faith has no place in the political debate of this country. This presents a significant challenge for those of us, like my colleague, who seek to follow the example of William Wilberforce or Desmond Tutu, to name just two. These leaders stood for the immutable truths and principles of the Christian faith. They transformed their nations and, indeed, the world in the process. More importantly, by following the convictions of their faith, they established and reinforced the principles of our liberal democracy upon which our own nation is built.
Australia is not a secular country—it is a free country. This is a nation where you have the freedom to follow any belief system you choose. Secularism is just one. It has no greater claim than any other on our society. As US Senator Joe Lieberman said, the Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, not from religion. I believe the same is true in this country.
So what values do I derive from my faith? My answer comes from Jeremiah, chapter 9:24:
... I am the Lord who exercises loving-kindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things, declares the Lord.
From my faith I derive the values of loving-kindness, justice and righteousness, to act with compassion and kindness, acknowledging our common humanity and to consider the welfare of others; to fight for a fair go for everyone to fulfil their human potential and to remove whatever unjust obstacles stand in their way, including diminishing their personal responsibility for their own wellbeing; and to do what is right, to respect the rule of law, the sanctity of human life and the moral integrity of marriage and the family. We must recognise an unchanging and absolute standard of what is good and what is evil. Desmond Tutu put it this way:
... we expect Christians ... to be those who stand up for the truth, to stand up for justice, to stand on the side of the poor and the hungry, the homeless and the naked, and when that happens, then Christians will be trustworthy believable witnesses.
These are my principles. My vision for Australia is for a nation that is strong, prosperous and generous: strong in our values and our freedoms, strong in our family and community life, strong in our sense of nationhood and in the institutions that protect and preserve our democracy; prosperous in our enterprise and the careful stewardship of our opportunities, our natural environment and our resources; and, above all, generous in spirit, to share our good fortune with others, both at home and overseas, out of compassion and a desire for justice.
Scott is officially Australia’s 30th PM. 30 is a significant number in the Bible.
Australia now has a first (I think) Pentecostal PM and a Jew as the Deputy Leader and Treasurer.
Both Scott and Josh are the next generation of leaders... praying God will use them and give them wisdom to bring reconciliation and unity back to the government, and steer the country with a fresh vision and bring righteousness and the kingdom of God back to the Government Gate...
Believe in yourself
Today is
Charlie Chaplin's
125th birthday -
A Good Day to Recollect
his 3 Heart Touching
Statements:
(1) Nothing is Permanent
in this World,
not even our
Troubles.
(2) I like Walking in
the Rain,
because
NoBody can see
my Tears.
(3) The Most Wasted
Day in Life is the
Day in which
we
have not Laughed.
LIFE is to Enjoy with
Whatever you have with
You,
Keep Smiling...!
If you feel STRESSED,
Give yourself A Break.
Enjoy Some..
Icecream/ Choclates/
Candy/ Cake...
Why...?
B'Coz...:
STRESSED
backwards spelling is
DESSERTS...!!
Enjoy...!
Very Beautiful lines
Pls Store it.
ONE Good FRIEND
is equal to ONE
Good Medicine...!
Likewise
ONE Good
Group is equal to ONE
Full medical store...!!
Six Best Doctors
in the World....:
1.Sunlight,
2.Rest,
3.Exercise,
4.Diet,
5.Self Confidence &
6.Friends
Maintain them
in all
stages of Life and
enjoy healthy life...!
If you see the Moon...
You see the Beauty of
God.....!
If you see the Sun...!
You see the power of
God....
And....
If you see the Mirror,
You see the
Best
Creation of GOD...!
So,
Believe in YOURSELF.
We all are Tourists &
God is our Travel Agent
Who has already fixed
all our Routes,
Reservations
& Destinations
So....
Trust him &
Enjoy the
"Trip" called LIFE...!!
Life will never
come Again.!!
Live Today..!
You May Share this to All People who
Are Important to You..!!
Charlie Chaplin's
125th birthday -
A Good Day to Recollect
his 3 Heart Touching
Statements:
(1) Nothing is Permanent
in this World,
not even our
Troubles.
(2) I like Walking in
the Rain,
because
NoBody can see
my Tears.
(3) The Most Wasted
Day in Life is the
Day in which
we
have not Laughed.
LIFE is to Enjoy with
Whatever you have with
You,
Keep Smiling...!
If you feel STRESSED,
Give yourself A Break.
Enjoy Some..
Icecream/ Choclates/
Candy/ Cake...
Why...?
B'Coz...:
STRESSED
backwards spelling is
DESSERTS...!!
Enjoy...!
Very Beautiful lines
Pls Store it.
ONE Good FRIEND
is equal to ONE
Good Medicine...!
Likewise
ONE Good
Group is equal to ONE
Full medical store...!!
Six Best Doctors
in the World....:
1.Sunlight,
2.Rest,
3.Exercise,
4.Diet,
5.Self Confidence &
6.Friends
Maintain them
in all
stages of Life and
enjoy healthy life...!
If you see the Moon...
You see the Beauty of
God.....!
If you see the Sun...!
You see the power of
God....
And....
If you see the Mirror,
You see the
Best
Creation of GOD...!
So,
Believe in YOURSELF.
We all are Tourists &
God is our Travel Agent
Who has already fixed
all our Routes,
Reservations
& Destinations
So....
Trust him &
Enjoy the
"Trip" called LIFE...!!
Life will never
come Again.!!
Live Today..!
You May Share this to All People who
Are Important to You..!!
Employee notice
EMPLOYEE NOTICE
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
any further by the Government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always
prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives its citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives ( E.V.I.L)
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
any further by the Government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always
prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives its citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives ( E.V.I.L)
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
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