Buying a well
A Chinese bought a well from an Englishman.
The next day while on his way to market he met the Englishman who told him:
"Brother, I have sold the well to you but I have not sold the water, if you use the water you will have to pay for it."
The Chinese replied:
"Ah, yes. I was planning to go to your place and ask you to empty the water and if you don't do it then you will have to pay the rent for the water in my well."
Don't try to play play with a Chinese!
Thursday, August 30, 2018
husband wife- tales
Wife to her Accountant husband:
what is inflation?
Husband:
Earlier you were 36-24-36. But now you are
48-40-48.
Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.
This is INFLATION .π
Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!π
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability.
But,
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
πππππ
An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wives.
A- Monopoly should be broken.
B- Competition improves the quality of service.
If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!
If u have 2 wives, They will fight for you!!π€£π€£π€£π€£
----------------------------
When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.π€£π€£π€£π€£
----------------------------
Philosophy of marriage :
At the beginning,
every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later, somehow don't know why..
alphabets get reversed..ππππ
----------------------------
Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!π€£π€£π€£π€£
----------------------------
Don't laugh alone pass it on !!π ππ
what is inflation?
Husband:
Earlier you were 36-24-36. But now you are
48-40-48.
Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.
This is INFLATION .π
Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!π
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability.
But,
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
πππππ
An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wives.
A- Monopoly should be broken.
B- Competition improves the quality of service.
If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!
If u have 2 wives, They will fight for you!!π€£π€£π€£π€£
----------------------------
When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.π€£π€£π€£π€£
----------------------------
Philosophy of marriage :
At the beginning,
every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later, somehow don't know why..
alphabets get reversed..ππππ
----------------------------
Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!π€£π€£π€£π€£
----------------------------
Don't laugh alone pass it on !!π ππ
ants - tenants
πAn ant knocked on the door of a house.
The house owner opened the door.
"I want a place to stay," said the ant.
"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost," said the owner.
The ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.
After some days, the ant brought in another ant πand requested the
owner, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"
"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent," said the owner.
After some days the ant brought a 3rd πant and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them.
The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.
This went on as the πant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.
One fine day, the ant brought in the 10th ant πand requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them all.
The owner said,
"OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent."
Now the question is:
Why did the owner ask for rent when the 10th ant came in?
.
.
.π€
Because they were now tenants!
ππππππππππ
PS: I am also looking for the guy who sent me this!
The house owner opened the door.
"I want a place to stay," said the ant.
"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost," said the owner.
The ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.
After some days, the ant brought in another ant πand requested the
owner, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"
"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent," said the owner.
After some days the ant brought a 3rd πant and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them.
The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.
This went on as the πant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.
One fine day, the ant brought in the 10th ant πand requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them all.
The owner said,
"OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent."
Now the question is:
Why did the owner ask for rent when the 10th ant came in?
.
.
.π€
Because they were now tenants!
ππππππππππ
PS: I am also looking for the guy who sent me this!
ugly side of judo
108 school judo class deaths but no charges, only silence
Fatalities since '83 highest rate in any sport; brain injuries abound
BY MIKE BURKE
Yasuhiko Kobayashi’s 15-year-old son had skipped judo practice.
According to Kobayashi, the boy’s teacher was furious and stood waiting for him at the gates of his junior high school in Yokohama. The teacher forced the boy into the gym and made him grapple one on one. The former All Japan judo champion choked the boy until he lost consciousness.
When the boy came to, the teacher choked him again until he went limp, and threw him to the floor with such force that he suffered severe internal bleeding in his brain, an injury known as an acute subdural hematoma.
The injury incurred on Dec. 24, 2004, left Kobayashi’s son unable to remember anything for almost two years, while the teacher was later transferred to another junior high school in the city in accordance with standard job transfers among public school teachers.
The incident alleged by Kobayashi’s parents is one of a spate of similar deaths and injuries in school judo classes in recent years reminiscent of the beating death of young sumo wrestler Takashi Saito during a disciplinary “training” session in 2007.
The parents of Koji Murakawa, a 12-year-old junior high school student in Shiga Prefecture, allege their son died from a similar injury in July 2009.
Murakawa complained to his instructor he had asthma. He was told to wear an antidust mask and made to spar with the instructor. The teacher reportedly violently threw him to the ground, also leaving the boy with a subdural hematoma.
Taken to a hospital, Murakawa was later pronounced brain dead. His body was covered with bruises, according to his parents.
“Subdural hematomas occur when the connection between the brain and the skull loosens and stretches the bridging vein,” explained Dr. Masato Noji of the neurosurgery department at Ashigarakami Prefectural Hospital in Kanagawa Prefecture.
“The result is severe internal bleeding within the brain. Such injuries are extremely traumatic and usually fatal. As a ringside boxing doctor, I was extremely surprised to learn that these sorts of injuries come from judo practice in schools.”
Dr. Ryo Uchida of Aichi University of Education is concerned about the frequency of deaths in school judo classes.
“Over the 27-year period between 1983 and 2009, 108 students aged 12 to 17 died as a result of judo accidents in Japanese schools, an average of four a year,” Uchida said. “This is more than five times higher than in any other sport. About 65 percent of these fatalities came from brain injuries. This is clear evidence of a dangerous trend in Japanese schools.”
The statistics are doubly alarming because they have no parallel in other developed nations.
A representative from the British Judo Association said, “to our knowledge, there have been no deaths or serious brain injuries in judo in the BJA.”
Dr. Robert Nishime, chairman of USA Judo’s Sports Medicine Committee, points to a dearth of safety procedures for judo classes at Japanese schools.
“There have been no known traumatic brain injury deaths attributed to judo for all participants under the age of 18,” Nishime said. “So there appears to be a significant difference in serious brain injury rates in the youth between the U.S. and Japan.”
Kobayashi, the father of the 15-year-old Yokohama boy, complained that the parents of children killed or severely injured in judo practice have been met by a wall of silence when pressing for convictions of the alleged perpetrators.
The police sought charges against his son’s teacher, but prosecutors dismissed the case. A judicial inquest panel concluded the dismissal was unreasonable, but prosecutors threw the case out for a second time.
“Not a single incident has resulted in criminal prosecution,” Kobayashi said.
In another incident, the parents of Ryo Tozawa, a first-year student at a high school in Akita Prefecture, allege his judo coach asphyxiated him in 2003 despite the boy’s pleas to stop. Prosecutors twice declined to follow up on the boy’s death after police pressed for charges.
Kobayashi and Murakami’s families founded the Japan Judo Accident Victims Association on March 27 to support victims and their families, and to lobby for improved training safety. They will hold a symposium in Matsumoto, Nagano Prefecture, on Sept. 12 to tie in with the World Judo Championships being held in Tokyo from Sept. 9 to 13.
One concern of the association is that new national curriculum reforms, known as Ikiru Chikara (The Zest for Living), will require all junior high school students to practice sumo, judo or kendo starting with the 2012 school year.
A 2009 All Japan Judo Federation study found that about 70 percent of junior high schools in Tokyo and Ibaraki Prefecture plan to make judo compulsory in 2012.
This concerns Uchida, who said he is unaware of any recent safety improvements and believes instructors have little regard for safety.
“As of 2012, it’s difficult to anticipate to what extent mortality levels will rise,” Uchida said.
However, because girls will also take part, the number of students participating in judo classes will roughly double.
“Consequently, without safety improvements, we can expect the mortality and serious injury rate to double accordingly,” he said.
While the All Japan Judo Federation remains silent on the issue, the head of the instruction department at judo’s spiritual home, the Kodakan Judo Institute in Tokyo, has been unable to hide his concerns.
Writing in the August issue of Budo magazine, Mikihiro Mukai argues: “Until now, the judo world has tried to hide things they perceive will be disadvantageous to them. But this trend will worsen the situation, even if we have many discussions about instruction methods, if there is even a single case of death or severe injury, that method is inadequate.
“There may well be some unfortunate accidents, but we as judo instructors must work to eradicate such problems,” he wrote.
The Japan Judo Accident Victims Association has launched a
new pledge for fun
I, the citizen of Singapore, Pledge myself to strike on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. Regardless of TOTO, 4D and Big Sweep. To buy Hope, and earn extra. Based on Quick Pick, System 7 to 12 and Big Sweep tickets with 4D bonus. So as to achieve Car, Cash & Condo.
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! Love all & Serve..
Headache & testicles:
Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.
He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.
The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require removing your testicles.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.
The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked at the prospect of being castrated, and depressed.He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him £15,000.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a Men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new Suit.'
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new Suit.'
The elderly Tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fitted perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
Joe tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new Underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure..'
The salesman said, 'Let's see..... size 36.
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! You got it wrong this time! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old..'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your Testicles up against the base of your spine and give you hell of a Headache.'π£π£
π°
Surgery - £15000 π
New underwear - £6 π
π±Second Opinion-π±
PRICELESSπ
Always take second opinion before going under the Surgeons knife... ππ
Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.
He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.
The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require removing your testicles.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.
The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked at the prospect of being castrated, and depressed.He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him £15,000.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a Men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new Suit.'
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new Suit.'
The elderly Tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fitted perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
Joe tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new Underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure..'
The salesman said, 'Let's see..... size 36.
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! You got it wrong this time! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old..'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your Testicles up against the base of your spine and give you hell of a Headache.'π£π£
π°
Surgery - £15000 π
New underwear - £6 π
π±Second Opinion-π±
PRICELESSπ
Always take second opinion before going under the Surgeons knife... ππ
Friday, April 27, 2018
san guo story
Story
One of the greatest achievements of Romance of the
Three Kingdoms is the extreme complexity of its stories and characters.
The novel contains numerous secondary stories. As such, the following only
serves as a summary of the central plot.
Three Heroes
of Three Kingdoms, silk painting by Sekkan Sakurai (1715–1790), depicting Liu Bei, Guan Yu
and Zhang Fei. This painting is usually hung in the offices of businessmen to
show that they are trustworthy, just as these brothers were to each other.
Yellow Turban Rebellion
The story begins in the final years of the Han Dynasty when incompetent eunuchs deceived the emperor and banished good
officials. The government had become extremely corrupt on all levels, leading
to widespread deterioration of the empire. During the reign of the
penultimate Han emperor, Emperor Ling,
the Yellow Turban
Rebellion broke out under the leadership of Zhang Jiao, who allegedly practiced Taoist
wizardry. Zhang Jiao pretended to be a traveling healer curing people of
sickness while secretly inciting them to revolt. In this time of turmoil,
many of the major characters in the story are introduced; Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Cao Cao, Sun Jian, etc.
The rebellion was barely suppressed by imperial troops
under the command of He Jin, Emperor Ling’s
brother-in-law and the Supreme Commander of the armies of the Central
Government. Fearing his growing power, the eunuchs under Zhang Rang lured He Jin alone into the palace
following Emperor Ling's death and murder that was orchestrated by his
rivals. His stunned guards, led by Yuan Shao, responded by charging into the
palace, which turned into an indiscriminate slaughter. In the ensuing
confusion, the child Emperor Shao
and the Prince of Chenliu
(later Emperor Xian) disappeared from the palace.
Dong Zhuo's tyrannical rule
Soon, the Emperor and the Prince were discovered by
soldiers belonging to the warlord Dong Zhuo from Western Liang, who proceeded to seize control
of the capital under the pretext of protecting the emperor. DΗng later had
Emperor Shao deposed and replaced with the Prince of Chenliu, who became
Emperor Xian. Under Dong Zhuo’s violent rule, the people suffered greatly.
There were assassination attempts on him by both the court physician Wu Fu
and Cao Cao but both attempts failed.
Cao Cao managed to escape and issued an edict in the
emperor's name to all governors, calling them to remove Dong Zhuo from power.
Under general Yuan Shao, 18 governors and nobles joined forces in a campaign against
Dong Zhuo, but undermined by poor leadership and conflict of
interest, they only managed to drive him from the capital Luoyang to Chang'an. However, Dong Zhuo was later betrayed
and murdered by his own foster son LΓΌ Bu, from a dispute over the beautiful Diaochan, in a scheme orchestrated by minister Wang Yun.
Conflict among the various warlords and nobles
In the meantime, however, the empire was already
disintegrating into civil war. Sun Jian, governor of Changsha, found the Imperial Seal
at the bottom of a well in the ruins of Luoyang but secretly kept it for his
own purposes, further weakening royal authority. Without a strong central
government, warlords began to rise up and fight each other for land and
power. In the north, Yuan Shao and Gongsun Zan were at war, and in the south, Sun
Jian and Liu Biao. Many others, even those without title
or land, such as Cao Cao and Liu Bei, were also starting to build up power.
Cao Cao took Emperor Xian from Dong Zhuo’s former
subordinates Li Jue and Guo Si and established the new court in Xuchang. Even more powerful now with the
emperor in his control, Cao Cao quickly subdued his rivals such as LΓΌ Bu, Yuan Shu and Zhang Xiu, culminating in his greatest military
victory, over Yuan Shao in the famous Battle of Guandu despite being outnumbered
10-to-1. Cao Cao pursued the defeated Yuan clan and finally united northern
China, which later served as the foundation for the Kingdom of Wei.
Sun Ce builds a dynasty in Jiangdong
Meanwhile, an ambush had violently concluded Sun Jian's
life in a war with Liu Biao, fulfilling his own rash oath to heaven. His
eldest son Sun Ce then delivered the Imperial Seal as
tribute to rising royal pretender Yuan Shu of Huainan, in exchange for much
needed reinforcements. Now, like the proverbial tiger that has been given
claws, he soon secured himself a state in the rich riverlands of Jiangdong,
on which the Kingdom of Wu would
eventually be founded. Tragically, Sun Ce also died at the height of his
career from illness under stress of his terrifying encounter with the ghost
of Yu Ji, a venerable magician whom he had falsely
accused and executed in jealousy. However, his successor and younger brother Sun Quan, led by skilled advisors Zhou Yu and Zhang Zhao, proved to be a masterful and
charismatic ruler, inspiring hidden talents from across the land such as Lu Su to join his service, while raising a
strong military which would truly receive a trial by fire in Cao Cao’s great
southern campaign.
Liu Bei's unrealized ambition
Liu Bei, along with his sworn brothers Guan Yu and
Zhang Fei had sworn allegiance to the Han Dynasty (in the famous Oath of the Peach
Garden) and pledged to do their best to serve the emperor and the
common people. However, their goals and ambitions had not been realized until
the later part of the novel. Liu Bei, ever since he had successfully quelled
the Yellow Turban Rebellion, was not recognized for his efforts and was made
only the magistrate of a small county. Later, Liu Bei joined Gongsun Zan and
participated in the war against Dong Zhuo. Cao Cao invaded Xuzhou as a revenge against Tao Qian, the governor of Xuzhou who
unknowingly allowed his subordinate to kill Cao Cao’s father. Liu Bei led his
troops from Pingyuan to help Tao Qian and Tao passed on his
post as Governor of Xuzhou to Liu Bei before he died. At that same time, Lu
Bu was at war with Cao Cao as he also longed to dominate China ever since he
had killed Dong Zhuo. Lu Bu was defeated by Cao Cao and he sought refuge
under Liu Bei. Later, Lu Bu repaid Liu Bei’s kindness with evil and seized
control of Xuzhou. Liu Bei was forced to join forces with Cao Cao and they
defeated Lu Bu. Lu Bu was executed and Liu Bei became officially recognized
by Emperor Xian as the Emperor’s Uncle. Liu Bei plotted with some officials
to kill Cao Cao as Cao Cao wielded far too much power and had the intention
of usurping the throne. Liu Bei failed to kill Cao Cao as the plot was
exposed. He seized control of Xuzhou but lost to Cao Cao when Cao Cao led his
troops to conquer Xuzhou. Liu Bei got control of Runan with help from some
former Yellow Turban rebels but was defeated once again by Cao Cao in battle.
Liu Bei had no choice but to move to Jingzhou to seek Liu Biao’s protection.
Liu Biao treated Liu Bei with respect and put him in charge of Xinye. At Xinye, Liu Bei recruited the talented military
strategist Zhuge Liang
personally and slowly built up his forces.
Battle of the Red Cliff
Cao Cao, who declared himself the Prime Minister, led
his troops to attack southern China after uniting the north. At Xinye, he was
defeated twice by Liu Bei’s forces but Liu Bei lost Xinye and had to move to
Jingzhou. Unfortunately, Liu Biao had died by then and left Jingzhou split
between his two sons Liu Qi and Liu Cong.
Liu Bei led the civilians of Xinye to Xiangyang, where Liu Cong ruled but Liu Bei was
denied entry. Liu Cong later surrendered to Cao Cao, and Liu Bei had no
choice but to move to Jiangxia where Liu Qi ruled. On the way, Liu Bei and
the civilians were pursued by Cao Cao’s troops and several innocent civilians
were killed. Liu Bei and his men managed to reach Jiangxia where he
established a strong foothold against Cao Cao’s invasion.
To resist Cao Cao’s invasion, Liu Bei sent Zhuge Liang
to persuade Sun Quan in Jiangdong to form an alliance. Zhuge Liang managed to
persuade Sun Quan to form an alliance with Liu Bei against Cao Cao and stayed
in Jiangdong as a temporary advisor. Sun Quan placed Zhou Yu in command of
the forces of Jiangdong (Eastern Wu) to defend
against Cao Cao’s invasion. Zhou Yu felt that the talented Zhuge Liang would
become a future threat to Eastern Wu and tried several times to kill Zhuge
Liang, but failed. In the end, he had no choice but to co-operate with Zhuge
Liang for the time being as Cao Cao’s armies were at the border. Cao Cao was
defeated at the Battle of the Red
Cliff, also called the battle of Chibi, by the combined forces of
Liu Bei and Sun Quan and forced to flee back to Jingzhou.
Tension between Liu Bei and Sun Quan
After the great battle at the Red Cliff, Eastern Wu and
Liu Bei vied for control of Jingzhou. Zhou Yu led the troops of Eastern Wu to
attack Jingzhou and gained a victory, but eventually Jingzhou ended up in Liu
Bei’s hands, as Zhuge Liang had advised Liu Bei to seize Jingzhou while Zhou
Yu and Cao Cao’s forces were at war. Zhou Yu was extremely unhappy and
reported the matter to Sun Quan. Sun Quan dispatched Lu Su to Jingzhou to
negotiate with Liu Bei for Jingzhou. Again and again, Liu Bei refused to hand
over Jingzhou to Eastern Wu. Sun Quan had no choice but to use new strategies
suggested by Zhou Yu to take Jingzhou. One of these was the Beauty Scheme, in
which Sun Quan lured Liu Bei to Jiangdong (where he intended to hold Liu Bei
hostage in exchange for Jingzhou) by pretending to betroth his younger
sister, Lady Sun to Liu
Bei. However, Zhuge Liang outwitted Zhou Yu, and Liu Bei returned to Jingzhou
safely with his new wife. Zhou Yu tried and failed repeatedly to take
Jingzhou. After being infuriated by Zhuge Liang twice, Zhou Yu eventually
coughed out blood. The third time, he coughed out even more, and died
unconscious.
Ma Chao
In the northwest, Ma Chao started a campaign against Cao Cao to
avenge his father, Ma Teng, who was killed
by Cao Cao. Ma Chao’s forces were formidable as he had the support of Han Sui and troops from the Qiang minority. However, Cao Cao managed to
defeat Ma Chao’s forces by using cunning strategies to make Ma Chao and Han
Sui turn against each other. Han Sui surrendered to Cao Cao and Ma Chao was
left stranded. Ma Chao later sought refuge under Zhang Lu of Hanzhong, and eventually joined Liu
Bei.
Liu Bei controls Xichuan and Jingzhou
After Zhou Yu’s death, relations between Liu Bei and
Sun Quan deteriorated, but not to the point of outright war. Following Zhuge
Liang's advice, Liu Bei invaded and conquered Xichuan, where the incompetent noble Liu Zhang ruled. He also took Hanzhong, which had been in Cao Cao’s control.
Liu Bei proclaimed himself King of Hanzhong, while Cao Cao had himself
promoted from Prime Minister to King of Wei; Sun Quan was known as the Duke
of Wu. At this time, Liu Bei ruled a vast area of land from Jingzhou to Sichuan in the west. This would later serve as
a strong foundation for the founding of the Kingdom of Shu. Meanwhile, Cao Cao and Sun Quan
were also at war, with defeats and victories for both sides at the Battle of Ruxukou
and Battle of Hefei.
The situation among the three major powers almost
reached a stalemate after this, until Cao Cao died due to a brain tumor. The
following year, Cao Cao’s son Cao Pi forced Emperor Xian
to abdicate, ending the Han Dynasty which had lasted for centuries. Cao Pi
proclaimed himself emperor and renamed his dynasty Cao Wei. In response
to this, Liu Bei declared himself Emperor of Shu Han, to signify that he
still carried on the bloodline of the Han royal family, but was based in the
lands of Shu.
Death of Guan Yu
Sun Quan, tired of Liu Bei’s repeated refusals to hand
over Jingzhou, made plans to retake it. He made peace with Cao Cao and was
bestowed the title of Prince of Wu. Liu Bei left his sworn brother Guan Yu in
charge of Jingzhou, and Guan led the Jingzhou troops to attack Cao Cao. Sun
Quan took advantage of the situation and sent Lu Meng to seize Jingzhou. Lu Meng disguised
his troops as merchants and finessed a quiet entry. As Guan Yu was besieging
Cao Wei general Cao Ren, Lu Meng's forces attacked Guan Yu from
the rear, and routed his army with ease. Guan Yu's general Liao Hua volunteered to ride his horse through
the oncoming horde of Wu soldiers to Liu Feng's castle to request reinforcements.
Liu Feng, fearing that he would be in danger with a smaller force of
soldiers, refused, and this ultimately led to the fall of Guan Yu. In
desperate retreat, Guan Yu's army scattered, and Guan was captured. Sun Quan
had him beheaded after he refused to renounce his loyalty to Liu Bei. Liu Bei
deeply grieved the death of Guan Yu and the loss of Jingzhou. He was already
planning to avenge Guan Yu when he heard that his other sworn brother, Zhang
Fei, had been murdered in his sleep by subordinates who then fled to Eastern
Wu. Liu Bei was determined to avenge both brothers. Disregarding advice from
Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun, and others, Liu Bei led a formidable
army of 750,000 to attack Eastern Wu.
Battle of Yiling
Sun Quan offered Liu Bei the return of the Jing
province and of his sister (Liu's ex-wife Lady Sun). Liu Bei's advisers,
including Zhuge Liang, urged him to accept these terms, but Liu persisted.
After initial victories, a series of strategic mistakes due to the
impetuosity of Liu Bei led to the cataclysmic defeat of Han troops in the Battle of Yiling.
However, Lu Xun,
the commander of Wu who spearheaded the war against Shu Han, refrained from
pursuing Liu Bei’s defeated troops. Famous generals from both Shu Han and
Eastern Wu forces perished. Lu Xun’s caution was vindicated when Cao Pi
launched an invasion against Wu, thinking that Wu forces would still be
abroad. The invasion was crushed by strong Wu resistance, coupled with a
plague outbreak.
Meanwhile, in Baidicheng, sixty-two year old Liu Bei, ailing
after three years of neglecting his health, died, leaving his young son Liu Shan in the care of Zhuge Liang. In a
moving final conversation between Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei asked
Zhuge Liang to assume the imperial throne himself in place of Liu Shan,
should Liu Shan prove to be inept. He refused to do so, and swore that he
would remain faithful to the trust that Liu Bei had for him. This promise was
to be a raison d'Γͺtre
for the rest of Zhuge Liang's life.
Zhuge Liang calmly fends off five armies
Cao Pi, following Sima Yi’s advice, induced several forces,
including Sun Quan, turncoat Shu general Meng Da, Meng Huo of the Nanman, and the Qiang tribe, to attack Shu Han, in coordination
with a Cao Wei army. Zhuge Liang successfully deployed the Shu Han troops and
caused the five armies to retreat without shedding a single drop of blood. An
envoy from Shu Han named Deng Zhi subsequently
persuaded Sun Quan to renew its former alliance with Shu Han.
In one of his final strokes of brilliance, Zhuge Liang
personally led the Shu troops to subdue the southern barbarian king Meng Huo
of the Nanman tribe. The barbarian troops were no match for the Shu troops
and Zhuge Liang captured Meng Huo seven times by using cunning strategies.
The first six times, Meng Huo complained that he had been captured by
trickery, and had no chance to fight a real battle with the Shu troops. Zhuge
Liang agreed to let him go every time, allowing him to come back again for
another battle. The seventh time, Zhuge Liang wanted to release Meng Huo once
again but this time Meng Huo refused. Meng Huo was ashamed of rebelling
against Shu Han and was so deeply touched by Zhuge Liang’s benevolence that
he swore allegiance to Shu Han forever.
Battle of wits between Zhuge Liang and Sima Yi
At this time, Cao Pi also died of illness and was
succeeded by Cao Rui. Ma Chao died of illness as well at age
46. In Jiangdong, Sun Quan declared himself Emperor of Eastern Wu. Zhuge
Liang then turned his eyes northwards, and planned to attack Wei to restore
the Han Dynasty as he had promised Liu Bei at the latter’s deathbed. However,
his days were numbered and Shu was far too weak to overcome the material
superiority of Wei. His last significant victory against Wei was probably the
defection of Jiang Wei, a young
general whose brilliance paralleled his own.
Zhuge Liang all along had a chronic illness, which was
compounded when he refused to rest even into the early hours of the morning,
so that he would be able to complete his analysis of the battlegrounds or to
formulate his next plan. He finally died of sickness at the Battle of Wuzhang
Plains, while leading a stalemated battle against the Wei
commander, Sima Yi, with his far superior force. As a final ploy, he ordered
his trusted generals to fake a statue of himself to scare off Sima Yi in
order to buy time for the Shu army to retreat to Hanzhong.
Sima family controls Wei
The long years of battle between Shu and Wei saw many
changes in the ruling Cao family in Wei. The Cao family gradually grew weak
after the death of Cao Rui and Sima Yi slowly plotted to usurp the throne.
Sima Yi removed Cao Shuang, a powerful
noble of Wei from power with a cunning strategy and since then the power of
Wei had been in the hands of Sima Yi. After Sima Yi’s death, his sons Sima Shi and Sima Zhao continued wielding the power of Wei
in their hands. Sima Zhao had Cao Fang removed from
the throne and replaced Cao Fang with Cao Mao. Later, Cao Mao tried to assassinate
Sima Zhao, who had the intention of usurping the throne, but was killed by
Sima Zhao’s subordinate. Sima Zhao pretended to grieve and mourn Cao Mao’s
death and even later had his subordinate, whom he ordered to kill Cao Mao,
executed for committing regicide.
End of the Three Kingdoms
Jiang Wei carried on Zhuge Liang’s campaign against Wei
for a bitter three decades. However, Liu Bei’s son Liu Shan did not heed
Jiang Wei’s advice and listened to the evil eunuch Huang Hao instead. In order to escape from the
rival officials in the court, Jiang Wei decided to resign from his military
title for the time being and went off to a fertile land of Tazhong.
The Wei general Deng Ai, who was at war with Jiang Wei, took
the chance to attack Shu Han. Deng Ai and his troops arrived in front of Chengdu, the capital city of Shu-Han, by taking
a shortcut. Liu Shan surrendered without a battle and ended the Kingdom of
Shu-Han. Jiang Wei planned to rebuild Shu-Han by uniting forces with a Wei
general, Zhong Hui, who was at odds with Deng Ai.
However, he was not able to see it to the end when his heartache grew
intolerable in the midst of the final battle. Seeing the rebellion has
failed, he then killed himself with a sword, marking the last stand of Shu.
In Eastern Wu, there was internal conflict among the
nobles ever since the death of Sun Quan. Zhuge Ke tried to usurp the throne of Eastern
Wu but was assassinated by Sun Lin. Later, Sun Lin
himself also lusted for power and had the emperor of Eastern Wu Sun Liang deposed and replaced with Sun Xiu. Sun Xiu sought help from the old
veteran general Ding Feng and had Sun
Lin assassinated, and the power of Eastern Wu went back into the hands of the
emperor. This did not last for long.
In Wei, Sima Yan, son of Sima
Zhao, finally forced the last Wei emperor Cao Huan to abdicate in the same manner as Cao
Pi had forced Emperor Xian of Han to abdicate. Sima Yan established the Jin Dynasty
in AD 265, declaring himself the first emperor of the new dynasty. The
Kingdom of Wei came to an end.
Sima Yan ordered the Jin troops to attack Eastern Wu
from the former land of Shu-Han and succeeded in conquering Eastern Wu after
a long period of struggle when the last tyrannical emperor of Eastern Wu, Sun Hao surrendered. Thus the Three Kingdoms
period concluded after almost a century of civil strife.
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
