I sent it to my friend. He sent it to his wife and then the fight started. 😂😂😂

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!! 😂💕😂

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started....
*************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started....
***************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started....
***************************
My wife was standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 'I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight is perfect."
And then the fight started....
***************************
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."
So I took her to my parents' house.
 And then the fight started....

 ***************************

Dedicated to all married couples. But don't send to all
 I sent it to my friend. He sent it to his wife and then the fight started. 😂😂😂

 

Joking only ok...don't really play play...

I'm sure the Econs guys wdve gotten these long ago... First time for me tho! 
A little fun economics to lighten up yr day
Wife to her Accountant husband: what is inflation?
Husband: Earlier you were 36-24-36. But now you are 48-40-48.
Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.
This is INFLATION .󾌩

Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.

Interviewer: What is Recession?

Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!󾌩
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability.
But, A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset. 󾌩

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wifes.

A- Monopoly should be broken.
B- Competition improves the quality of service.
If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!
If u have 2 wifes, They will fight for u!
Feel the difference & decide

Disclaimer:

Sender is not having any such experience and not responsible for any side effects.

When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.

Philosophy of marriage :

At the beginning,
every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later, somehow don't know why..
alphabets get reversed..

Secret formula for married couples...

"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!

 

Joking only ok...don't really play play...

HOW STOCK MARKETS WORK- FOLLOW THE MONKEYS

A Story for you...😁
A lot of monkeys lives near a village.🐒
One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys!🐵
He announced that he will buy the monkeys @ $100 each. 🙊
The villagers thought that this man is mad.🙄
They thought how can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each?🤔
Still, some people caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave $100 for each monkey. 😬
This news spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and sold it to the merchant.😬
After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys @ 200 each. 😉
The lazy villagers also ran around to catch the remaining monkeys!🐒
They sold the remaining monkeys @ 200 each.🐒
Then the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys @ 500 each!😮
The villagers start to lose sleep! ... They caught six or seven monkeys, which was all that was left and got 500 each.🙊
The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement.😉
Then the merchant announced that he is going home for a week.  And when he returns, he will buy monkeys @ 1000 each!😉
He asked his employee to take care of the monkeys he bought.  He was alone taking care of all the monkeys in a cage.🐒
The merchant went home.😉
The villagers were very sad as there were no more monkeys left for them to sell it at $1000 each.☹️
Then the employee told them that he will sell some monkeys @ 700 each secretly. 😉
This news spread like fire.  Since the merchant buys monkey @ 1000 each, there is a 300 profit for each monkey.😬
The next day, villagers made a queue near the monkey cage.🐵🤑
The employee sold all the monkeys at 700 each.  The rich bought monkeys in big lots.  The poor borrowed money from money lenders and also bought monkeys! 🙊
The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return. 🤑
But nobody came! ...😳 Then they ran to the employee ...🙄
But he has already left too !😉
The villagers then realised that they have bought the useless stray monkeys @ 700 each and unable to sell them! 😩
This business is known as the...*STOCK MARKET* ..😜
It made a lot of people bankrupt and a few people filthy rich in this monkey business. 🐒😉😅
That's how the stock market works....

HUSBANDS FOR SALE !

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Zimbabwe , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .. You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband .

 On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

 The second floor sign reads:

 Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

 The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

 "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

 Floor 4 These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

 Floor 5 These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

 Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!

 

Iphone

One day mummy saw ants on her mobile phone then say,'why my hp has a lot of ants ?' . Then Jabez said , 'because your handphone is an apple !'

What a joke ! All Jabez ?

Jokes to cheer you up:

Dear Jesus
Funny how my brother looks just like me.
At night we pray together, so don't think it is me praying twice.



Teacher: Where is Thailand ?
Jabez: I don’t know.
Teacher: Where is India ?
Jabez: I don’t know.
Teacher: Where is China ?
Jabez: I don’t know.
Teacher: Look them up in your geography book. Where is your geography book?
Jabez: I don’t know.


Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Jabez: H- I- J- K- L- M-N- O
Teacher: What makes you give such a silly answer like that?
Jabez: You say it was H to O


Mother: What do music teachers give you?
Jabez : Sound advice.

Teacher: Jabez , you’ll have to improve your handwriting. I can hardly read it.
Jabez: But, mdm, if I do, you’ll know that I can’t spell

Teacher: Jabez, name 5 animals that live in the jungle.
Jabez: An elephant… and four tigers.



Jabez: Mum, today I was punished by the teacher for something I didnt do
Mother: How could you be punished for something you didn't do? Tomorrow I am going to have a talk with your teacher. By the way what was it that you didn't do?
Jabez: My Homework!

Let us tell you of some peoples Favorite Hymns:
The Dentist's Hymn:..........Crown Him With Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn...........There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
The Contractor's Hymn..........The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn...............Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn...........There is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn.........Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn..........Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn............I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn...............Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn..........Send the Light
The Shopper's Hymn.............Sweet By and By

ABRAHAM'S RAM
Abraham wanted to upgrade his old 386 PC to Windows XP.

His son Isaac, was horrified, and exclaimed: "Pop, you can't run Windows XP on your ancient 386. Everyone knows you need a Pentium III processor and 128 megabytes (MB) of RAM for that! What are you thinking???

But Abraham, a man of faith, gazed calmly at Isaac and said, "Do not worry, my son, God will provide the RAM."

A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their eight-year-old son and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' Jabez replied..
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered
Jabez bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'

REPORT BOOK

Mother: Jabez, come here.

Jabez: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
Jabez: But but but... .I will only get my report card tomorrow
Mother: I know that, but I'm going Jakarta tomorrow so I'm scolding you now

WHERE ARE YOU BORN ?
Teacher: Where were you born?
Jabez : Singapore , Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Jabez : All of me.



FIREFLIES
When Papa and Jabez entered their vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before Papa did, Jabez whispered, "It’s no use, Papa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

Pen
A parent: Doctor my son swallowed my pen, what do I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil until I get there.

HOW OLD IS YOUR FATHER
Man: How old is your father?
Jabez: Same as me lah.

Man: How can that be?
Jabez: He only became a father when I was born mah !!!

PLAGIARISM IN COMPOSITION
Teacher: Jabez, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Jabez: No lah, teacher. It's the same dog!

When does a mouse have to carry an umbrella?
When it is raining cats and dogs!

RAPHA JOKES

Rapha jokes

One day, mummy asked Rapha, why Jesus only bless  5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. then Rapha answered because Jesus's mother Mary  only cooked 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.

3-year-old Rapha :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'


A little boy Rapha was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.'

After the christening of his baby brother Rapha in church, Jabez sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the Jabez replied,
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
And I wanted to stay with you guys.'


One particular three-year-old Rapha prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets
As we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'


A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?' One bright little boy Rapha replied, 'Because people are sleeping.'

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Jabez 8, and Rapha 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. 'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Jabez turned to his younger brother and said, ' Rapha , you be Jesus !'


A father was at the beach with his children When the three-year-old Rapha ran up to him, Grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
There a seagull lay dead in the sand. 'Daddy, what happened to him?' Rapha asked.'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
Rapha thought a moment and then said, 'Did God throw him back own?'